Millions of Minions review: I’m going deeper underground

by DizzySnail
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It’s now 2021, and we need to deal with the issues our world is facing. We all have to get more active and work towards the common goal of saving the earth from a terrible fate, by, for example, recycling.

And can I tell you that this game has recycling all over it. The first four levels have the same background, the same rooms, and the same three monsters. You may be thinking – surely the bosses in a game like this might add some much needed variety? Nope.

You guessed it! It’s just a bigger version of the same three monsters. It’s not until you reach the boss of level four you finally get to see a new type of monster, and then the cycle simply restarts, with 3 new types of monsters until you reach level four of that stage. It goes on, and on, and on…

Millions of Minons

It’s the first title that the studio Head Tilt Games has released since its launch in late 2019, but I feel like the game falls short, especially since there are so many great dungeon crawlers out there already.

Your character crawls slowly across the vast emptiness of each room, and when you enter a room you haven’t been in you have to fight the three monsters of the floor, who keeps spawning in waves, in every single room. As if that wasn’t bad enough when they spawn in you get these horrid sound effects that no mortal deserves to hear and just keep praying that only one of the same screeching mob spawns unless you want that awful noise layered upon itself.

The combat itself started out confusing, as your main source of damage is spawning a minion and sending it with auto-aim towards a nearby enemy. You can freeze your minions in place by pressing a button and you can also do a melee attack, but these two maneuvers are absolutely useless since the charge of your minions will kill any of the normal mobs in 1-2 hits. You can just spam this attack for as long as you have mana, and every enemy drops a metric tonne of mana so you don’t have to worry about running out.

When you have figured out that you only need to click two buttons repeatedly whilst moving in a circle to beat any of the mobs and bosses the combat just gets repetitive and dull. The mobs also drop gold, but in such a surplus that you can buy out the shop every visit past level one.

The animations are cute, and while they are quite simple, it makes Millions of Minions somewhat pleasing to look at while your soul screams in pain from the lack of actual gameplay. Some of the backgrounds will light up as you move across the floor, adding a bit of mystique to the main character.

I’ve lightly touched on the SFX of the game, and I’d like to take a moment to talk about the music, during your dungeon crawl its a slow, relaxing piece played on something close to a steel drum,  and it spurs you on as you are exploring until the battle commence and the music is drowned out by the sound of the enemies. The music changes during the boss fights, where smooth jazz starts to play, which I feel is an interesting choice for an “action-packed” fight.

To close out I’d like to take a quote from the game description on Steam:

The world is randomly generated and so your experience will alter significantly each time you play which allows for extreme replay-ability.”

While it may be true that the layout of the levels may be randomized, it doesn’t matter, since all the monsters of the area will spawn in every room. The rooms themselves are just the same other than an object like a table can spawn that might block a shot or two then break. Millions of Minions just feels empty and boring, and it’s not what I would call extreme replayability at all. Millions of Minions? Nah. One minion out of ten.


Millions of Minions is available now on Steam. Why not check out more of our game reviews here?

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